Choice and Happiness

Posted February 26th, 2009 by Daniel Doen Silberberg

Choosing what is leads to happiness.  Our usual state is to want things to be different from what they really are, and to think that when only this changes or that changes, then things will be great.  When I find the right partner, when I get that new job—then I’ll be happy.  I like to tell my students that most people spend their lives thinking “if only, if only, if only – dead.”  We spend our lives waiting to be happy, and one day, one moment, it’s all over—and we were never truly happy.
 
Choosing to be with the moment, to be with what is, that is real happiness.  Even if “what is” is not what you want, and you’re also actively choosing to change, staying with the reality of what is can bring happiness.  And it’s fun!  I know a woman who doesn’t like her tendency to keep going over things in her head, to keep worrying, to be indecisive.  Now, what she could do instead is to tell herself:  “All this stuff that I turn around in my head, I chose this, this is great.  One of the things I really like about myself is that I’m just so indecisive—it’s beautiful.  This is where I’ve come to, this is the kind of person I am right now.  This is what I chose.  Maybe I’ll choose something else, but right now, that’s where I am.” 
 
Try it.  This should be a very enjoyable thing, no matter where you are, you should be enjoying choosing what you’ve got.  Be alive now, don’t wait until tomorrow.  Tomorrow you’re dead.  Enjoy your life, appreciate your life, choose to be with your life as it is right now.

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2 Responses to “Choice and Happiness”

  • Maria ten Cate Says:
    March 17th, 2009 at 11:03 am

    Alice in Wonderland

    This post reminds me of an extra ordinairy experience I had with my daughter Alice, when she was about 4 years old.

    On a Sunday evening, out of the blue she started talking about God. She said, ‘Mama do you know that God is everywhere!’

    (I was kind of surprised because I didn’t talk with her about God at all, with the idea that I maybe would spoil her pure view or something like that.)

    And she continued: ‘God is in the tree, the chair…..etc and in you and in me, everywhere.’

    Then I asked her: When God is also in you, can you point me out where God is, in your nose, your belly, your heart (I thaught that she would come up with that) or in your belly….

    She said: ‘No mama, God is just flowing through me and everywhere where I choose God to be….’

    At this moment Alice is almost 15 years old….and is playing other games in her Wonderland. More ‘work’ for mom to stay ‘present’, lol.

  • Tea and Zen | Tea This Says:
    April 16th, 2009 at 9:18 pm

    [...] I am working on conquering this “over-thinking” tendency as a student of Lost Coin Zen.  Through that wonderful group, I am learning to focus on my state of mind. [...]

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