One Response to “How We Think About Time”

• Peedee Says:
  November 29th, 2009 at 9:07 pm

  Thank you. When I was a young child and a teenager, I was so terrified and anxious of death. Most of this emotion was because of my mother’s anxiety that I was going to die, get in an accident or be ill, and not have the good fortunate of living a long life. One thing that her fear taught me through these years was this truth of mortality. It was embedded first in my biology and if nothing else, manifest around me by the external forces of chaos mingling with some illusion of order; all of which I have no control.

  Now that I’m older, and have nearly reached my ten years of having a sitting practice, I see a lot that somewhere in my psyche is the “fear of annihilation’ not for my body per se but for my soul. I’m not afraid of it in the Judeo-Christian sense that I could “go to hell” or be judged or punished, those ideas and beliefs never did stick too well to me but there is definitely a fear of annihilation that I get stuck with from time to time in my practice.

  Most of the time, I try to channel this and use it to my advantage. I want to wake up every day of my life and say, “What I really want to do ___ ” fill in the blank and then go do it. For some time, I’ve been doing that as a practice and consequently have noticed that I put myself through a guilt trip sometimes if I ‘enjoy life’ too much or even if I do not, there will certainly be someone criticizing me who doesn’t like that I am having fun, being creative or indulging in pleasure.

  I could add a lot more about this topic! It gets me going in my writer’s story and my philosopher appears in the room to join in the conversation. Thanks again.

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