I grabbed the latest “Yeah Yeah Yeahs” album after this talk. Very enjoyable, especially the “Heads Will Roll” track that Sensei mentions.

Speaking of Wild Things, Karen O (of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs) did the soundtrack for the upcoming children’s movie. How appropriate.

For me, training seems to be about digesting knowledge.

When recently challenged about something conceptual, I found that in the heat of confrontation, most of what I “knew” wasn’t really there for me. What WAS there was something broader which I experienced as a new capacity to avoid panic and stay just a bit more centered than before. I also experienced less of an inclination to feel personally attacked.

Buddhist theory can explain why such a response is helpful, but it’s this training that makes it at all possible. At least, I think this is what Doen has been really driving me to take to heart. And the more I do the more I see that the common goal of every type of training, not just “Zen”, is to develop capacity to be still or truly “cool” in the midst of confusion or chaos. To not be so mechanically seduced into the panic of believing that more thought is going to be necessary in order to sort out all the contradictions in front of me now.

Now has no concepts. But somehow, I am training to realize just this. Somehow it all makes sense, but still, I get stuck chewing on the pattern at the expense of fully digesting it.

Maybe this is not a problem at all, just the momentum of practice.